graduation

Since this website is supposed to be my personal journal, I might as well just make a current life summary of the 18 year-old, freshly graduated from high school version of dim7ay.

At the time of writing this, it's the day before the national exams for university enrollment, and... I can't just focus at all. I just don't fuck with books, and I'm not really sure that I'd like to join Uni either. However, even though my original plan in life was to be unplanned, I did end up choosing to try getting in University, firstly because I was adviced to do so from people I do believe and respect, and secondly... I guess that I could still kinda immature right now (even though I don't feel so), and I could end up to regret not giving Uni a chance as I'll be growing older. We'll see. I'll make sure to reply to this statement later in life.

Generally though, things are just strange but hopeful since I graduated about a week ago. It's like the end of my current life, as I've been a student for all my cognitive life, and the start of new life, the life. Something exciting or depressing but most of all, uncharted. For me, the first version of this feeling is true, I feel weirdly excited. Excited for all the benefits and disadvantages that this new life is packaged with. It's weird. I still can't imagine the life I'll be living in my 30's, or even late 20's, but I can kinda imagine the outline of my story. 4 years ago, I couldn't even grasp the concept of life after graduating high school, everything seemed so short and tunneled. I almost thought of graduation as the end, and it probably is for that edgy 14 year-old version of myself. I mean, I certainly hope so!

What I can't see myself doing is attending uni. I mean, just not currently. But, we'll see down the line ',:(

As far as music goes... Well, if I were to give it up, I would have done it by now, I guess. I just love music ykwim? Like, how could I give this up? Even if my poor 13 year-old laptop were to break in half, (which it has already done; hinges are a mf). I would use its remains as drums. I just be like that. Before ever making a melody, I would download those "music maker" apps from the Play Store and spam the samples on the playlist. And before that, I would play n' make levels in Geometry Dash, which is pretty much neccesary to pay attention to the music there. It's just always been there ykwim?

I guess life can get in the way though. We'll see.

So, to recap this life update... 

Do I know what I'm doing?

-Nah. But I'm very eager to see my life unfold down the line.

Will I study for tomorrow's exam?

-Nah. But

Am I hopeful?

-Pretty much. I dunno why.

Am I going to grab a coffee later today?

-I was? How much time have I spend here? It's 7 pm already...

I'll once again make sure to reply to these questions later in life.

Until then, or until not then, seeya.